Strongly opinionated

First, a little update about life lately.  Tristan is getting bigger by the day – both literally and also by what he can do over time.  He now loves to play with toys, and he smiles and laughs and babbles.  All of which just melt my heart each time.  Motherhood has very much changed me.  It has made me more emotional…partly because I see everything through a mother’s eye now.  It also gives me greater respect for other moms and a greater appreciation for my mommy-dearest hehe.  Not that I haven’t always been anyways, but experience sometimes changes perspective.

Chris works quite a bit lately so that I don’t have to…which I appreciate because it allows Tristan to have mommy around at least some of the time.  If I did work currently – it would have to be evenings and weekends.  It would not allow much mommy time or wife and hubby time.  I do wish to contribute, but I can only do so much currently.

Every now and then we do get to see friends…more now that Tristan is getting a little older, but still not a lot.  Last night we have two good friends over for dinner and a game of Uno.  It was good to have some “for fun” adult interaction.  I only get interact when I am at school and with my family.  Not that it is bad, but it isn’t always just for “fun” if you know what I mean.  I wish it was more though.

Now to the topic of the post.  I really realize just how opinionated I am now that I am a mom.  For one, I think the more natural a pregnancy and birth a mom can have, the better.  I know that it isn’t always possible…but I think too many woman do not research all the risks they take on for not just themselves, but for their little ones as well.  I am not saying the medical community is evil exactly, but that sometimes they intervene in the natural process and cause complications…and then they have to “come to the rescue” by doing things like c-sections and vacuum extraction.  Yes, sometimes these are indeed needed…but really not as much as they are used.  I don’t pretend to think labor and birth are painless for all women (mine certainly was not).  However, the drugs used to control pain can and do have side effects.  I was so glad that I was awake and alert to greet my son – and that he was alert too to meet me.  I admit that I question if maybe why he is so calm for a baby is because of his emergence into the world in a relaxed home environment (literally at home!)  He wasn’t pulled away from me to be cleaned and examined…he was just allowed to cuddle with me and his daddy for a little while and just be.  I think that in a way, this allowed his transition into the world to be a little less scary and jarring as it can be for hospital babies.  He has known very little fear in his short life…which currently mostly consists of being afraid of the dark!  I hope this good start to life continues to nurture him throughout.  I certainly wish I could be mommy 24/7 for him too, but sometimes things just cannot be as we want.  I just have to say that I think women need to realize the inherent strength that almost all of us carry.  We don’t really need medicalized birth as the current model states we do.  I am not advocating free-birthing certainly…but I DO think midwives have a great model.  They don’t just look after the pregnancy itself, but rather the whole picture.  They monitor the diet of the woman, the medical, and mental aspects too.  I honestly feel that had my midwife not told me to eat 100g of protein a day towards the end there…I would have had pre-eclampsia.  I was headed that way pretty easily, and it does run in my family for sure.  I feel very thankful that I did my research and found a very wholesome approach to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care.

I am also very opinionated about breastfeeding.  I think the breast is always best.  It is amazing to know that a woman’s body can change the nutritional content of the milk as a child grows.  What formula does that?  Not just nutrition, but also giving a baby immunities to things in their everyday life is worth more then gold.  It is one of the only perfect foods a child will have in their lifetime really.  Not only does it provide wonderfully for babies, but also for moms too.  By breastfeeding, a mom reduces breast cancer, heart disease, and osteoporosis risks.  How incredible that mother nature rewards moms who choose to do the best thing for the kids!

Beyond the health benefits, the bonding time is like no other really.  Once Tristan and I got past all the difficulties…which trust me, it was hard at the beginning…I loved when he’s look up at me with his big blue eyes, or how he’d grab my fingers while he nursed.  I love when he falls asleep nursing and dreams and smiles.  He also gets great comfort by nursing.  When he is hurt or upset, it is one thing that never fails to calm and sooth him.  Even if he isn’t really hungry and just pacifies himself…he still feels close to mom and the comfort that he always finds in my arms and at the breast.  What I do find frustrating is most Americans inability to separate the sexuality from the breast.  A boob is not all about sex…it is many times about nurturing.  I do not feel ashamed that I breastfeed.  I am not ashamed of my breasts either.  This isn’t to say that I’d walk around topless just because I feel like it, but rather that sometimes I admit I don’t want to be under a blanket.  Let’s face it…I live in Texas, and it is *hot* here (and we are not even in summer yet), and I hate making my little guy sweat and be uncomfortable because other people are uncomfortable with breasts being used for their god-given reason.  I also don’t want to go feed him in a bathroom stall.  I don’t eat in the bathroom, and neither should he.  I also don’t want to feel awkward around others just because my little one is fussy cause he is hungry.  I don’t want to dread going out somewhere..be it out to eat or the store…because I cannot easily feed him.  I don’t want to have to go to my car because he is tired or hungry.  We are the only creatures that are so shamed by our bodies and by the natural way to care for our young.  I am not ashamed to say that I feed my kid in the same manner a goat will her own kid.  Perhaps I am just a hippy and an idealist, but I really think people should be exposed to breastfeeding more so it isn’t seen as gross, inappropriate, lewd, or unnatural.  My breast is not just sexual, in fact that is a secondary function if you ask me.  It’s like if people here in the USA would start seeing lips as purely sexual because they are used for kissing and other things.  Never mind the fact you use them in the eating process, to talk with, and expression.  It would be silly so see them as sexual only, right?  But is it so different?  Ok, maybe it’s harder to cover, but that hasn’t stopped people in the middle east!  I’m just saying.

Perhaps we’d have better self-esteem if we women saw more breasts too.  We see only the perky-no stretch mark types in the media.  I have never met that mark, and many women don’t.  Why feel bad?  I don’t.

On a side note….although I am heavier then I would like to be after giving birth… I feel better about myself.  I think I see more beauty in myself then I did before becoming a mom.  I have also tried to think more positively because I think it is important for my children to have a positive role model.  Just because I am chubby doesn’t mean I can’t love myself still, and others around me.

Anyways, I also think that by other people (not just women) being exposed to breastfeeding, would help encourage a healthy practice.  Men should be able to separate the different uses of breasts..and not just look at one and get all excited.  Other countries have far different views of nursing…and of topless women in general really…but that’s not my point.

OK and the last thing that I am a little opinionated about is diapering.  I am sure there will be things I will feel just as strongly about as Tristan grows and as I grow as a person.  I do think that cloth diapering is better though.  It is cheaper by far for one.  For two, it leaves less things to go to landfills.  And for three, it reduces diaper rash.  Not say that it doesn’t happen, but it does breath a little better…and at least with the cloth diapers I have used, doesn’t leak anymore then disposable diapers.  I have also read that many kids with cloth diapers will potty train sooner because they can feel when they are wet quicker.  I don’t know if this will be true for my kid, but we will find out in time.  Regardless, I feel like I am doing a good thing by cloth diapering.  Plus, I can reuse these diapers with any future kids.  That’s important to me.  I like that I can just do some laundry and BAM I’ve got clean diapers for Tristan.  It’s great!  Oh, and I love that they come in other colors then white!

Ok well that’s PLENTY for today.  Love to all, and sorry for my overly long rant.