LadyAlissiya’s Blog

I donno why right now, but I really miss my darling cat Iseult (pronounced ee-sult).  I got her when I was maybe 7 or so.  My mom had gotten her for herself, but the cat favored me because I gave her attention all the time, and we became lifelong buds.  I remember that she would let me dress her up in doll clothes as a little girl and if I cried she’d come to me and cuddle.  I have never met another cat like her, and I may never again.  She passed in 2005 from a long time illness.  Sometimes I think that if I had just had more money, I could have prolonged her life…but I know that probably isn’t the case.  She died probably from cancer.  She had growths on one of her legs that had to be constantly removed…and she had a condition called megacolon.  Despite it all though she was my best little friend.  Every night she would cuddle up in my arms and stretch her paws over my shoulder and fall asleep with me.  She would follow me around and cuddle every chance she got and seemed to enjoy me talking to her.  She would get defensive if people played too rough with me and would growl.  She was almost like a dog only in cat form.  I still miss her after all this time.  She was 15 years old when she died.  I know she had a good long life…and I gave her as much as I could.  When I first moved out on my own, I left her at home.  Chris didn’t want to deal with her bathroom problems…but I found after a while I missed her too much.  When I’d go home..my mom always said Iseult would seem to cheer up and after I’d leave would not be nearly as happy without me.  I finally took her back with me, and she would greet me every day when I’d get home from school or work.  She would give me her happyly little meow and sit very prim and proper and then get up and follow me to where ever I’d go and sit.  She loved to sit on my lap and especially loved her belly to get rubbed.  Even in her old age, she was always playful.  She loved to attack my pencil as I wrote things, or jump and shred newspaper, or even feet and hands moving under a blanket.  I can’t say never did anything wrong, but despite those few times…she is still a beacon of happiness in my memory.  I still dream of her often, of being reunited with her…almost like she’s visiting me from the other side.  I always know in my dreams that she can’t stay, but I relish the short time we have together.  It’s funny…even though we couldn’t talk as humans do, sometimes it seemed like we did on some level.

The day that she died I remember that I came home from work right around 10pm.  I had to go to the bathroom really bad and I walked through the back door and heard her meowing.  I couldn’t stop right at that moment though because mother nature was being insistant.   So when I was done I came back down stairs only to find her next to the little box crying for me.  She was sitting there on the mat we had just calling for me.  I picked her up and noticed her back legs weren’t working…and they were cold.  I remember I just lost it.  I started bawling with her there in my arms.  I called Chris and my mom saying it was time that I had to put her down…and I wasn’t strong enough to do it by myself.  I couldn’t drive because I could barely see through my tears…and I held her and just howled practically with sorrow.  My mom drove up and picked me and her up and took us to Texas A&M after hour small animal clinic and we met with a vet.  I knew there was no saving Iseult and she was in so much pain…it was time.  They took her away from me for a moment, and made a paw print of hers (I still have this hanging in my house).  I held her when they gave her the injection…I’ll never forget..

She looked up at me, almost with a sigh of relief…her bright blue eyes at ease finally, her silly lop-sided smile (she was missing some teeth at this age) and she stretched her paws up… one  first touching my nose as she often did, then she stretched them up over my shoulder and sighed…went to sleep..never to wake.  I cried that day probably more then I have ever.  I still miss her every day.  I don’t know why this morning I miss her so, but I do.  She touched my life with a special love…silly as it may be to those who have never been touched like that by a pet.  I was just thinking to myself how much I want to go home and cuddle up with my little white manx kitty and go to sleep when I get home.  Too bad she isn’t there.